It's always hard to have hopes and dreams for your special needs child. You never know what is appropriate. You don't want to encourage dreams that are well beyond their reach, but you want them to aspire to be something more than just a living organism.
It's only been recently that I've started thinking about what Sammy can and can't do against his peers in terms of life goals He talks about marrying his best friend and having a life. Of course he plans to live with us for the rest of his life.
I've continued to watch Henry "catch up" to him, and recently, he's started to surpass him mentally and academically. This is the hard part of having your special needs child first. I'm not saying it's harder, I watched my sister go through having her Autistic son second. It's just different from my perspective. You don't notice just how far behind their peers they are at the older stages.
Sure, he wasn't talking in phrases at 3-4 years of age. He wasn't potty-trained until almost five. Heck, he had a paci until 4 years 10 months and I remember the day clearly he finally lost the last one. But it's not until you start putting Sammy with other 9-10 year olds that you really realize how far behind them he is and how he just isn't going to catch up to them.
Sammy's IQ has dropped due to his seizures. We don't know if it's permanent, my hope is that he will regain what he's lost.
I don't like having to be careful with my encouragement. I don't like asking my five year old to wait for me to help him because his brother can't do things his age peers can do on their own.
My hopes and dreams from the moment I found out I was pregnant with Sammy have changed so drastically, I no longer know what they are.
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